Accounting Puns Sure To Get You Groaned Out of the Party 2

Accounting is Accrual Profession!

Get it? Accrual sounds like “a cruel”?

Yeah, I know, pretty bad. It’s one of those accounting puns that you’d expect Parks and Rec’s Ben Wyatt telling Barney Varmn and co. to side splitting laughter while the audience mentally thanks the guidance councilor who steered them away from accounting.

Barney Varmn then pops out like an alien from an impregnated stomach.

Barney Varmn then pops out like an alien from an impregnated stomach.

My parents got me a shirt that said that very line for Christmas last year, since I’m now a dad and tormented with the desire to tell such groan inducing one liners. On the plus side, I heard once that telling puns is a sign of intelligence, which must be true since it was a doctor who told me. And doctors are never, ever wrong.

Oddly enough, the shirt had this on the back. Your welcome, Greg Burbage, for the free advertising.

Oddly enough, the shirt had this on the back. Your welcome, Greg Burbage, for the free advertising. Or maybe it was a sign that my parents regret my name. Or that they wish they had Greg instead of me. Whoever that is.

While the socially responsible response to a bad pun is to pretend like it never happened, I decided to lean into this one a bit. Shortly after receiving the mis-branded shirt, I taught a training class to Grant Thornton’s new hires in an affluent suburb of Chicago (I could tell it was affluent because when I went there for training years before every house had a Mitt Romney sign in front of it). To mix things up, my cohost and I threw together a quick game and divided the room up into teams. Their first task was to come up with team names.

Their only requirement? Make sure it related to accounting, and that it was bad enough to make even us cringe.

When I first received the names, I had my blog on a brief hiatus. It took me until yesterday to remember that I hadn’t graced the world with these inspired phrases.

So here are the accounting puns, with a brief explanation for the few that need it:

Account Ants

Down for the Account

Accounting is my LIFO (If you’re not sure what LIFO is, I talk about it here)

Tax Manian Devils (from fellow Denverite Chase)

The Hot Assets (in the purely tax sense, a”hot asset” is a phrase for certain kinds of assets in a sale of a partnership)

Tax that Asset

Accrual Intentions

Account Me Out

If you’re still alive after reading all those puns, congratulations. Feel free to use them at your next accounting mixer, since I stole them from my class anyway.

Have any to add to the list? Feel free to add them to the comments below.

Follow me @TimJGordon

  • Ian Philmore

    My class accounting group was the Mr. T-Accounts

    • Nice. Please tell me you had a “Balance Time” song, or something equally terrible.